Q & A: Query

K.R.S of Van Wert, OH asks us:
Can I have one of my cats abducted? Rocky and Yum Yum are okay cats, but Ali Qat has been a floor pooper from the word go. Lately she’s abandoned using the basement floor in favor of the upstairs carpet. I feel that an abduction experience might convince her to return to using the basement floor as the pooping place of choice. (I harbor no hope that she will ever use a litter box for solid waste.)
K.R.S. -
For the record, Alien Abductions Incorporated does not now and has not at any time in the past condoned the testing or use of any of our proprietary techniques or procedures on animals. Such practices would be morally indefensible, and would also be unlikely to provide any useful data regarding human reactions to scenario implantation. Furthermore, the differences in neuronal periodicity between species would make creating an Abduction Experience scenario for non-human use extremely difficult, and certainly make such a scenario unstable in its final implementation.
To be clear, our settlements of certain legal actions were in no way an acknowledgment of wrongdoing (regardless of representations made in the mainstream media), but rather an effort to allow both our customers and our legal team to focus on more important issues.
As for your specific problem, while type-R (instrumental) conditioning is not generally recognized to be effective when applied to cats, it would appear that at this point you have little to lose by making the effort—any change at all that you can effect in Ali Qat’s behavior is likely to be an improvement.
Good luck!
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